Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

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[Note: This is a mostly spoiler-free review.]
Unlike my brother, I’m a big, big fan of superhero movie franchises. The genre has produced a number of genuinely great works during its short stint at the pinnacle of pop culture and I’m a firm believer that it offers not only entertainment but also tremendous artistic and cultural value to those who would take advantage of it. Superheroes are meant to imbibe us with a sense of justice, give us catharsis, make us laugh and challenge our perceptions of what is right and wrong. Sadly, they can also be anticlimactic, intellectually insulting, malignant and loathsome, then you wind up with a movie like Dawn of Justice.
Ever since DC made the announcement about this movie some two years ago i have been constantly rubbing my hand, checking my calendar (and YouTube for trailers) eagerly waiting in anticipation. So you can understand the extent of my disappointment when what I thought would be the biggest comic blockbuster ever made quickly turned out to be nothing but a non-event.
In what is perhaps the biggest superhero mash up ever, Batman vs Superman is nothing but a humorless, dour standoff between an aging Bruce Wayne and a moping Clark Kent with Wonder Woman being the only smattering of hope. The entire movie hinges on a plot that manages to be at once over complicated yet so simplistic, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was adopted from Queen Primera.

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Gotham and Metropolis are imagined as twin cities, sort of like Ibadan and Lagos (jokes shey?). The movie begins with the Metropolis-leveling showdown from “Man of Steel” between Superman (Henry Cavill) and General Zod (Michael Shannon) from the POV of Bruce Wayne/Batman (Ben Affleck), who witnessed the barrage of destruction caused by the two aliens from Krypton. Batman thus comes to regard Superman, not as a kind-hearted saviour most of the world see him as, but rather an unknown quantity who could wreck of death and destruction on earth if or when he feels – and wonders what his true intentions are. Thanks to eccentric tech billionaire, Lex Luthor (who apparently knows the identity of both superheroes and wants to pit them against each other), a showdown between these two is inevitable. Sadly if you, like me were waiting for a big badass showdown between the two superheroes, you’re going to leave sorely disappointed. The entire 2hrs 30 something minutes was nothing more than a lengthy trailer designed to introduce the Justice League for the next wave of DC movies.
Batman vs Superman is wrapped under a jumble of half baked plots with more holes in it than the old Benin-Ore road. The entire movie lacks heart, humour and spectacle and even 72 hours after seeing it, I still can’t make out the exact moral of the movie. The movie seem uninterested in telling its story rather resorting to overamplified CGI and leaving its audience to fill in trhe missing blanks.
Despite my lingering resentment, the movie wasn’t entirely a disaster. Ben Afflecks portrayal of Batman was commendable (although Alfred is no longer a Butler). He gave Batman a gravitas that matches Bale in Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy while Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman makes for an intriguing proposition. Graphically, you can always trust Zack Znyder to deliver – the man may not understand the concept of dialogue but he is a beautiful visual artist who knows how to set up and compose a frame. But you need more than just the pictures, you need characters, dialogue and emotions and his characters all seemed immune to all of these.
In conclusion, i wouldn’t dare say BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE is a travesty wrapped in disaster inside an obscenity but it’s close enough though, and in the big epic showdown between DC comic’s greatest characters, its Wonder Woman who to come out on top.

Keith Urban – Song for Dad

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A Toast

To the Father

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The Child’s first hero

Batmanning since the early 90s

I was Robin, riding shotgun in the good ol’ shiny Peugeot 504,

…our Bat Mobile

A Toast,

With the small sips of the red wine you allowed me

Unvoiced tribute to New Years or my new report card

…Not a word to The Mother though,

I was barely out of my diapers

A Toast,

To my first Maths tutor and the dreaded spelling bee evenings you hosted

The Caterpillar love that pimped me into a butterfly

To several possibilities and certain eventuals

Salud!

To The Captain

Through whose troubled waters I battled into existence

Aye

A Toast and a 63 Gunshot salute

May you Live Long and Prosper

Forever Young – Jigga

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Yet another birthday (Yaay!) 😐😐

20 odd years as an Earthling and I’ve come to learn that this birthday thing means different things to different people. For some it’s the time of the year to throw down and party like its 1999 and for others like 2 Chainz, it is the perfect excuse to make baffling requests (a big booty hoe for example). For unsentimental pessimistic party poopers like myself however, birthdays can be one huge sucky affair. A reminder that the distance between leg and the proverbial bucket shortens by the year and how much shii man never do.

 

With greater age comes greater responsibility…

While much younger, we were made to believe that as you grow older, life eases up on you. Go to school they said, get that degree, then a job and surely, one way or the other you’re going to be alright. Probably the biggest scam of all, seeing that they conveniently neglected to mention that this fulfillment thing takes its time before knocking on your door…and Peter Parker thought he had it hard, at least the web fingered bastard had superpowers.

Age only becomes less apparent when we are all settled and comfy. If you are 20+ like me and already suffering from mid-life crisis, age become more or less a burden, one that weighs at the back of your mind, threatening to drown you in a sea of your previous failures and all that you hope for but have yet to accomplish. Birthdays lately have become a day for introspection, a marker in the steady progression of days that helps me take stock of the people and things that truly matter. As we grow older, life has a way of weeding out those who won’t hold your hands when life hurt.

So rather than chase the spotlight, the Instagram likes, the cakes and all the superficiality that comes with the day, why not shine light on those that give reason to your existence, the people that are responsible for the journey thus far…

Like the Father who tells you to be the best version of yourself, the Mother whose unrequited love keeps you going, the crazy siblings who since time immemorial have challenge you to face and tame your dreams, the “her” who’s been playing fuji with your heartstrings, the two-faced friends you have to play peekaboo with, the real ones that have your back like a chiropractor, the monsters you keep well hidden under your bed and most importantly this Weltschmerz world that duly awaits your Overgraduation.

Happy Birthday to us y’all!!

Stories that touch: the track by track review

Like Benjamin Button before him but yet not quite like him, Falz is a curious case of sorts…

These days the music industry is brimming with so many “commercial” artistes, the whole thing has turned into a damn huge advert. It’s becoming harder and harder to find artistes in Nigeria that are a break from the norm; artistes that are unique in style and determined not to repeat themselves in an increasingly homogeneous and repetitive Nigerian Industry. At first thought you may be forgiven for thinking Falz is another of these commercial musicians but here’s the curious part…Beneath all the satire and comic relief which he provides, is a guy that makes good concept music and it doesn’t hurt either that his flow, lyrics and production (the three most important component of rap music) is always top drawer.

So when I heard he was releasing his sophomore project, I became the curious one and I’m particularly interested in seeing if he can make a statement with this. A quick glance at the tracklist and I’m a bit surprised. In this generation, where the attention span of an average person is shorter than my goatee. I wonder why anyone will brave the danger of making a 17 track album and risk losing the attention of their audience/message in the process. But  here goes…

 

  1. Kabiyesi f. Oyinkansola

If Falz feels he’s making a statement by proclaiming himself King, he’s going to meet an indifferent audience here. Everyone is king these days. At this rate, even Vico will one day lay claim to this fictitious hip-hop throne people like Yung6ix are occupying… but I’m starting to digress…Is that Kwam 1 on the sample? There’s a lot of gangan drums which sounds really really neat and it melds perfectly with this awesome sample. I’m a big fan of contemporary production when it’s gotten right and this is awesome in my opinion. Too bad though, I feel Falz could have done better with this production especially on when it’s the intro. His lyrics is half-assed at best. Don’t call yourself King and then come and be giving me a lukewarm reception

…still Sess had this one.

  1. Soft Work

Second track in and the tempo quickens a little. From production to hook, this one has that groovy Ghanaian feel that throws you back to 2012 and the Azonto epidemic that suffused our pop culture. I half expect Sarkodie to jump on this if it ever becomes a single but then again, I’ve been wrong before. But I’m really vibing to this sha…(i think i’m getting my dance moves back). This is much more like it from Falz though. He sounds more witty, more confident. He’s practically bragging his way through the whole song, reminding us that what you average people consider as “balling” is what they do for a living. This  and  reminding us that he’s a barrister at law. He even took time to shade Lazarus  that Skibi dude with that “if you fake your death you still fit no blow” line (2015 has been dramatic y’all)… I wonder why haven’t you bloggers picked this up yet though.

  1. My People

A downshift in production takes us to a slower contemporary beat and the production continues to impress. The hook has me well…hooked. It’s so catchy, so Tufaceesque…. Now if only the man himself can jump on the track, that’ll be something (Let’s add that to my Christmas wish list will you, right behind the menage-a-trois with Alessandria Ambrosio and Scarlett Johansson). Back to the matter. It seems the story telling is really starting. Falz has had an amazing year that has seen him tour the length and breadth of the country and here he channels his inner Linda Ikeji giving us all the juicy details. From tales of highway robberies outside of Ibadan to the wonders Tokunbo the groupie was performing, Falz gives the listener a periscopic view into what goes on behind the curtains of the industry. To be honest though, I can do without all that incessant name dropping (of the cities) but this is yet another solid one and the album looks like it’s starting to right itself..

  1. Karishika ft. Phyno

If you haven’t heard this one already, you are probably living in Abeokuta (under a rock…get it? No? Okay). Even though I’ve had my fill of this on HipTV, it kind of feels different listening to it in the context of an album. Undoubtedly one of the standout tracks of the year. I especially like the concept the song adopts. Eminem has proven it that painting women as a “evil” is one way of attaining commercial success. Funny how only a handful of people know the track derived its concept/title from an old Nollywood “blockbuster” that go by the same name. Strangely i find myself waiting for Phyno to come on. Phyno is yet another curious case an he continues with his philosopher stone routine turning everything he touches into gold and the puzzling part is that i have absolutely no idea what he’s going on about. I’m sure he murdered this verse sha…I’m sure.

  1. Soldier ft. Simi

This two had such great chemistry on TV and you wonder if they can take it into the booth with them. It starts out with lots of piano in the beginning and just and when Simi’s voice finally cuts in, it takes the whole thing to an ethereal level. Her storytelling is picture perfect and she paints the scenes with just a hint of humor too. I think I’m in love?

Then Falz barges in, playing the role of a soldier which honestly may the worst idea in 2015. He“shells” enough as a civilian. He handled his verses here well though, waxing lyrical to Simi’s reluctant character and doing his utmost to march his way into her heart. When at his best, I think Falz is probably the most versatile rapper in the industry today. This has easily turned into my favorite on the album thus far.

Please, why is it the always the best of songs that are the shortest? Bet Why?

  1. Workaholic

Remember what I just said about Falz’s versatility? I’m thinking he knows too and it’s like he’s going to great lengths to advocate this. This time he tries out a mix of Afrobeat so reminiscent of Fela Anikulapo. Just like the title implies, this one is a slight admonishment for those ones who work 27 hours a day. Despite another commendable piece of work from Sess and a hook I’m sure Abami himself might have signed off on, somehow somehow the track doesn’t quite come off the way it should. It’s one of those nearly tracks that takes you halfway but doesn’t deliver you to the Greek in the end. Still an alright track by any means. Who knows, it may yet grow on me.

  1. Soupe ft. Yemi Alade and Shaydee

Except for those times when Shaydee said “…her body be like say them carry am come from yonder” (times when I couldn’t help but consider the spectrophilia) the album continues to impress so much I’m starting to enjoy myself. This one is your typical Naija fast beat/catchy hook party jam kinda . This sounds like it was tailor made for Yemi Alade’s afropop style, so you should already have an idea of what you’re getting yourself into. I’m sure most DJs cannot wait to lay their hands on this one for.

  1. Clap ft. Reminisce

Lmaoo…To say these guys are getting their samples right will be an understatement. This time it’s popular social media boxing icon and champion of the world, Kayode Lateef.  If you don’t know who this is, kindly google him or check his videos on YouTube. You’re free to thank me later even though what you find will probably leave you in laughing fits and stitches. The genre changes again, this time to Trap music and surprisingly, it plays to Falz’s strength. He sounds assured with his rhymes and I’m starting to feel Falz is at his best when he’s in Brag Town.

“Just returned from Euro, just returned with some Euros”

On picking up the album and checking the guest list, this was one of my most looked forward to collaboration mainly because of Baba Hafusa, another one who has had a massive year. Reminisce’s has this way of delivering his profanities with a calm poise that makes you want to use Yoruba in ways you never should d…and that O.T Genasis ending was just the K.O that killed the track. I really like Reminisce, I do but we all know that the guy needs to be stopped right?

  1. Time Differences ft. Sess

Falz once again delves into another relatable topic in the form of long distance relationships. This one feels like a view into his personal life and a glimpse into his more serious emotional side. Here he highlights those issues that comes with dating someone in another time zone. This is the slowest of the songs on the album so far and the it sounds like something Drake might cook up when he’s going through his time of the month. Sess shows he can sing also as he belts out vocals for the hook. This can easily turn into a snoozefest for me though and even though this is not the best we’ve seen so far on the album, it’s still a commendable effort especially if you like really slow and dullsville music.

This marks the halfway point on the album and I must say that save for one or two songs, the album has been impressive so far.

  1. Skit

Let’s just say if Falz ever decides to start an airline company, there will be a lot of suing. Falz is at his rib-cracking best which is a good thing given that I was already drifting into auto-pilot there for a bit.

  1. Celebrity girlfriend ft. Reekado Banks

Another of the singles that made it off the album but one I haven’t listened to this yet due to its perceived commercialness. Falz enters christening mode as he goes on a serial name dropping spree, mentioning probably all of the divas in the Nigerian entertainment scene (both married and not) while Reekado Banks did what Reekado Banks could on the chorus. Another one you’ll enjoy listening to but probably won’t make it into my playlist. too many name calling again.

  1. Chardonnay Music ft. Poe and Chyn

I always say that you can’t go wrong with a little bit of jazz and a tempered tempo and once again I’ve been proven right. Trumpets are such wonderful things if you ask me and Falz agrees with me

Trumpets, wondervul sturvz, blow eet, blow eeet…

Production is uncluttered, well layered and the mix of percussion and brass instruments blends soulfully into something quite sophisticated. This right here is the definition of grown ass music. So caught up was I in my head-bobbing trance that I’ve missed the beginning of the verse. Falz has toned down his jocular approach a little bit as he goes on to deliver a set of 16 bars that shows he can also make good music even when he’s not clowning. This just goes to affirms that he actually understands the rudiments of making good music. And when you think things couldn’t get better, Poe and Chyn come in hard with the former delivering what is one of the best rap verses of the year. I’ve been an admirer of Poe for a while and he proves again why he is on my top 5 list for the best rappers in Nigeria. Hands down the best track on the album so far.

You put 12 tracks like this together and you might just have a platinum-selling Grammy nominated album on your hands.

Before you start with the arguments, remember that ”Might” being the operative word.

  1. Kawosoke

Oh wow…now its conc Fuji we are singing. Right after delivering the best track on the album, Falz goes around and gives us me his worst effort. At this point, I think na overversatility dey worry Falz. Personally, this is one track the album could have done without.

  1. Love You Pass ft. Bez

In another turn, as if to right the last track, Falz enlists the help of Bez to deliver what is yet another standout song from the album. You know when Bez that handles your hook, it’s bound to be something special. This sounds like a fully certified Bella Naija wedding theme song. It’s one of those songs that makes the shallow ones among you start dropping clues for marriage so that you can eventually have this played at your wedding…and isn’t December the unofficial month for weddings. If Falz wasn’t fully booked before, he’s sure to be now. Another track that ends a little bit too abruptly for my liking though (let’s try the fadeout next time guys).

Great record and we are thankfully on the home stretch.

  1. Karishika Remix

I wasn’t actually expecting a remix to make it onto the album. Maybe as a bonus track but not on the regular track list. Most of M.I’s features lately portray a shadow of the rapper we all knew him to be and you get the feeling that he has maybe carved his oars into an armrest chair or sumn. However his flow and drive here is much better than what his features have been this year and he goes on to recants the tale of how he made acquaintance with what turned out to be a levitating Karishika (probably an Edo girl). I’m also an avid admirer of the SDC boys and the whole interchange thing here reminds me of Jadakiss and Styles P back in their prime. Another good track and I smell the end coming.

 

  1. Thank You

So far on the album, I’ve heard Trap music, Ghanaian Azonto style,  Fela’s Afrobeat, Jazz and now it’s something reggae. Falz signs off here thanking everyone that has held him down since day one and all that sort of thing. I’m just going to wait for this to run down. I feel draaained.

  1. Ello Bae

Let’s not talk about this or maybe we should. I feel bonus tracks should be what you call it, a bonus. Don’t give me a track I’ve heard a billion times since 2014 and call then call it a bonus because it’s not.

 

Phew!

Okay…I’m still reeling a bit.

The album is solid no doubt. Falz gets it right in most places especially the production (which was stellar all through the album) and the feature guest list. The album also confirms that Falz is as versatile as they come switching style no less than 6 times on the entire album. The lyricism on some tracks does fall short of the standards I was expecting and the album could have done without a couple of the tracks on there but take nothing away from Falz though as this remains by far one of the better Nigerian albums I’ve heard in the year. It certainly caps what has been a tremendous 2015 for Falz.

Now we just need to see what comes next for the bad guy.

 

Swimming Pools

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This is a Public Service Announcement that may or may not have been sponsored by the good folks of Tennessee and a certain Ms. Remy Martin.

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I would have loved to kick start the blog by writing pulitzer winning pieces that will make momma proud but like Kendrick showed on Swimming Pools, it’s just way better to get all the drunken stuff out of your system first… (pun might have been intended).

My first time ever, I was 15.

Youthful exuberance and of couple of swigs was all it took to push me over the edge and by the time i was done throwing up all that liquor, I had made a decision never to touch a drink again.

(The alcohol gods spirits were probably looking at me like…)

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Many things have changed since that first incident; Alex Ferguson retired to disastrous results, America finally elected a black president, Timberlands made a comeback, Torchlight Wielding Zaki Azzay tried to make a comeback, and drinking finally evolved into an actual lifestyle habit.
A fact that invariably means there are now more people out there making drunken decisions every day (take Kanye’s new fashion line as case study).

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I have absolutely no qualms with drinking. Being surrounded with friends that are Oktoberfest’s Very Own and aspiring “Alcoholic Anonymouses” means my noble quest for sobriety gets tested every now and then (to mixed results).
Do you ever noticed how most commercials for liquor/beer sell the idea of good times as opposed to the product itself?
That’s because drinking, like Nate Reuss is Fun. Getting drunk however isn’t really quite so.

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I once asked someone why certain people dedicate their lives to getting wasted.

“Life is hard so we do it to drown our sorrow”, he replied

I chuckled,

Someone needs to tell them sorrow has grown big fucking fins.

The problem with going on drunskscapades is that it usually ends with you doing really questionable things. Things you’ll most likely regret the next day. Probability is you’ll wake up next to some babe that looks like Vic-O with no explanation as to why your usually high standards decided to dance Konko below. Moments like these are better referred to as the “I Don Fuck Up” moments.

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It gets worse for the proud ones too.
As a recovering teetotaler, I have found that the drinking, getting wasted and all of the accompanying IDFU moments have some sort of link back to basic Economics.
It’s demand and supply all over again except here instead of the price and quantity variables, we have Ego versus the number of bottles/shots you’ve managed to down. For these purposes, let’s call that Igo (yoruba for bottles)

Note: The “bottle” variable is dependent on the type/brand of alcohol being consumed. You cannot be comparing Heineken to Absinthe and you never should; Absinthe is illegal in many countries for a reason.

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The law guiding this is simple really,
The degree to which you fuck up is determined by the size of your ego which by the way is directly proportional to the number of glasses you’ve downed.

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The numbers in the graph show a progression in the different stages of inebriation as it relates to an average Joe with average ego.

– (1) the early stages of being shit faced. You’re probably thinking by now that the 24 cans of Orijin in a pack and 24 hours in a day can’t be just pure coincidence.

– (2) You’ve morph into the philosophical drunk. You’ll begin asking thought provoking but equally stupid questions like
“Why do we need two nostrils if we only need one to breathe” or “Were cows responsible for the Milky Way?

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– (3) You probably have to explain slur every 5 minutes to someone different that despite all your staggering and shouting, “you’re fiiiine and you’re not druuunk”

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– (4) is when all the good stuff starts coming out. You’re known as the girl who speaks only pristine Queen’s English but after babysitting only two or three or seven shots of tequila, your thick Igbo accent has decided its time to rear its ugly head.

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– (5) This is when you start making drunken decisions. Before you started drinking she looked like Gabourey Sidibe but right now, your beer-addled brain is telling you that she’s prettier than Gabrielle Union.

– (6) You normally only listen to the Michael Buble, Jon Bellion or De Angelo kinda music but right now you’re all about that Shakiti Bobo. You may also decide to have a Wóbe dance off with 2 of your equally drunk friends.

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(7) is when you start peaking. By now all that Guinness has started making you feel like you are Made of More and you’re probably deciding between doing a back flip or a cartwheel from the second floor ledge.

Lights out!!

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P.S: Reality is we can’t all hold our liquor like Kanye (or Ernest Hemingway). Alcohol much like humans have feelings and you shouldn’t abuse use these feelings too much lest it returns the favour (and with add ons too).
Respect yourself, it’s only someone with zero esteem that will wake up from a drunken stupor and not feel any sort of personal ignominy.
The simplest solution to avoiding skiboish situations is to either know your limit and stay within its boundaries or just good ol’ abstinence. But then again, I’m not your father…

On that note, let’s go find some cheer(s) to the rest of the freaking weekend.

Strength and Honor!!!

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NO INTRODUCTION

Unlike Nas, this was not inspired by hard drums, strong chords, a ghetto upbringing, failed marriages, or Vegas blow outs…

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– The Overgraduate is my Stereo heart and all of the 237GB that make up the iTunes playlist

– The Overgraduate was Christmas Eve at 6 and my first pair of tona-tona shoes.

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– The Overgraduate is Good Kid, i.b.A.A.dan city.

– The Overgraduate is Platform Nine and Three Quarters, my first adventure.

– The Overgraduate was the many times i slept off on her talking during MTN xtra cool.

– The Overgraduate is the life of the party at Kenny G’s point and kill

– The Overgraduate are all of my Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasies

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– The Overgraduate are the growing horns on my head and the dimming halo in my heart.

– The Overgraduate is the late night Jack Bauer marathons and the 24-hours I want back

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– The Overgraduate was the second Christian fellowship i tried out and the light skinned babe who kept me there.

– The Overgraduate is Daddy Showkey, Idris Abdul Kareem and all the other jaga jagas I jammed with reckless abandon

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– The Overgraduate was that first bicycle kick goal in 2001, the climax of my football career.

– The Overgraduate is what The Mask is to Jim Carrey.

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– The Overgraduate is the Aluta powered baccalaureate and the complimentary five-year jail time.

– The Overgraduate is 309 Ent, the Shinguz and the business endeavor which failed spectacularly.

– The Overgraduate is, Zizou, SW6, and that glorious night in Munich.

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– The Overgraduate was the road trip to Abuja in ’12, my first real peek at unrefined debauchery.

– The Overgraduate is Rm. 206, OldTown and the Jack Daniels/Dominos sponsored evenings.

– The Overgraduate are the Cortinas, the Timberlands and the Autographs that have brought me this far.

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– The Overgraduate is 2020, the year we’ll party like its 1999

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This is the Overgraduate and my first foray into self-honesty